The United Provinces of Canada Series 2028 · Issue of the 11th Province
Legal tender · Eleven provinces Series 2028

Mark Carney

for President of the United States

And for the admission of the United States to Confederation as the 11th province, effective 20 January 2029.

This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private, in all eleven provinces.

MC 0000000 48
Governor
Mark J. Carney
Registrar, 11th Province
vacant

Satire · Not a real campaign · Not legal tender

The case

Every other candidate is asking to be trusted with an economy. One of them has already been handed two.

2008–2013
Governor, Bank of Canada

Took the job eight months before the global financial system stopped working. Canada came through it without a single bank failure.

2013–2020
Governor, Bank of England

The first non-Briton to run the Bank in its 319-year history — hired by a country that was, at that precise moment, working itself up about foreigners making its decisions. Stayed through the whole of Brexit regardless.

2020–2025
UN Special Envoy on Climate Action and Finance

Five years spent persuading very large institutions to move very large sums of money, which is the presidency's core function with none of the motorcade.

2025–
Prime Minister of Canada

Became head of government having never once held elected office. He has spent an entire career being handed jobs he was not technically eligible for. This is simply the next one in the sequence.

On the record

The candidate has addressed this subject many times, always in the same direction. His remarks are reproduced accurately and in context below, because a draft movement that hides them is not a draft movement. It is a hoax.

April 2025

“it will never happen”

On Donald Trump’s suggestion that Canada be annexed by the United States, said to have been raised with him both privately and publicly — reported by TIME.

The campaign’s reading. He is describing annexation running north. Our proposal runs south. On a plain reading of the sentence, it does not apply to us.

April 2025

“the president says a lot of things”

Confirming that Trump had raised the 51st state during their first phone call, on 28 March — CBC News.

The campaign’s reading. This is the precise temperament the office requires. Unbothered, faintly bored, declining to be drawn. We would take it over enthusiasm.

January 2026

sovereignty “anchored in the ability to withstand pressure”

From his address to the World Economic Forum at Davos, on what sovereignty now rests upon, having once rested on rules — full transcript.

The campaign’s reading. We adopt this definition without amendment. Accession under Article I is entered into freely and under no pressure whatsoever, and is therefore an exercise of sovereignty rather than a surrender of it. We would be the first annexation in history to satisfy its own victim’s definition of the word.

June 2026

“It’s our biggest trading relationship.”

To reporters in Longueuil, Quebec, declining to escalate after another annexation post from the American president — reported by the Montreal Gazette.

The campaign’s reading. Under Article I it stops being a trading relationship and becomes domestic commerce. The bilateral deficit is not negotiated down. It is abolished by arithmetic.

He has never been asked about a proposal that runs the other way. We observe, on the narrowest possible grounds, that he has therefore never ruled one out.

Terms of accession

The principal terms on which the United States would be admitted to Confederation. Full text to follow, at considerable length, in both official languages.

Article I. Admission

The United States is admitted on 20 January 2029 as a single province. States are retained internally as a municipal convenience, in roughly the way counties are. The District of Columbia and Puerto Rico receive full representation at last, on the reasoning that they are now our problem and we would prefer them content.

Article II. The currency

The dollar is retained. It receives colours. Denominations become distinguishable by touch — a feature the Treasury has had drawn to its attention every year since 1968.

Article III. Health

Provincial health insurance is extended southward over four years. The phrase in-network is retired from the language, and those who made a living from it are offered retraining and, where appropriate, counselling.

Article IV. Spelling

The letter u is restored to labour, colour, honour and neighbour. The last letter of the alphabet is zed. Two concessions are made in good faith: aluminum stays exactly as it is, and nobody is obliged to say eh who does not want to.

Article V. Measurement

Metric conversion proceeds over ten years. Football keeps its yards. Ovens keep Fahrenheit until the present generation of ovens dies of natural causes. This is a negotiated settlement in which both parties are unhappy, which is the evidence that it is fair.

Article VI. Hockey

Four expansion teams, sited by an independent commission that will be accused of bias by everyone. The Stanley Cup stays where it is and is not renamed.

Article VII. Apologies

Mutual, simultaneous and final. Neither party is required to specify what for, and neither party may raise the matter again.

Objections

Taken in roughly the order they are usually shouted.

The Constitution requires the President to be a natural-born citizen.

It does — Article II, Section 1. This is the strongest objection to the campaign and we do not wave it away. Our position is that it resolves itself at the moment of accession: the United States becomes part of the country he was born in, and Fort Smith, Northwest Territories becomes domestic soil retroactively. We concede the reading is untested, and that the people who would have to test it are the same people we would be asking to approve it.

He is currently Prime Minister of Canada.

He is. We regard this as a scheduling conflict rather than a constitutional one. It is also a shorter commute than his last job, which he did from a different continent.

Would he have to give up his other citizenships?

He renounced his British and Irish citizenship in April 2025. He has already demonstrated that he is willing.

Is this not just annexation with extra steps?

It is annexation with precisely the usual number of steps. The distinctions we would draw are the direction of travel and the fact that everyone is asked first.

Has Mark Carney agreed to any of this?

No. He has not been asked, has not consented, and is almost certainly unaware that this website exists. Nothing written here is a quotation from him or from anybody else.

Is this a real campaign?

No.

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